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It all began a wintery Sunday morning in December , Joey and I arrived to church a few minutes late and entered to a discussion on the role of a husband to love his wife. As we went around and shared how each of us are loved in different ways our always introspective teacher directed our attention to Eph. 5:25-27, specifically what does it mean to “make her holy.” The men had some ideas, being a good example, being a leader, showing restraint, the list went on. Then my lovely husband said some times this might be corrective in nature, putting things in perspective, encouraging an apology, ending gossip.
Conversation quickly turned to “is it ok for a wife to correct her husband." We all seemed to feel that sometimes something just needs to be said and that it was ok for us to “make him holy.” One lady much wiser than me said, she noticed that if she corrected or said something to her husband it only seemed to lead to frustration, but if she let it go and prayed, things seemed to resolve themselves. Wow, good for her, but my husband sometimes need pointed in the right direction, right. He is still the leader, I just want him to know my opinion, gain some perspective, for him to see things the way I do. Because for goodness sake I have the best ideas, they are usually fool proof.
Well that afternoon I kept thinking of 1 Peter 3:4, a verse I had memorized nearly 25 years ago. So I decided I should turn there and check it out. I read verse 1, “In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives,”
“Without a word”, I had to read it again, probably 5 times, clearly this is an answer to our Sunday school discussion, but no i should read it again. Sure enough nothing changed it still said, “Without a word”. If you know me even a slight bit you know I’m not the quietest person and I’m a fixer. I’ve learned that I can only “fix” those I’m close too; I’m not trying to be bossy, just to help you do the task in an easier manor. I guess that is either bossy or pushy, but they say the first step is to recognizing you have a problem.
So my resolution is to work towards the gentle and quiet spirit talked about in 1 Peter 3 by trying my hardest to live daily “WITHOUT A WORD.”
